His love changes everything

Me and mom – 1978

As we live our lives, it’s easy to forget where we’ve come from and how far we’ve come. It’s also easy for me to forget to let you know the context from where my writing comes from…so here goes.

Before I personally encountered the Father’s transforming love, I went from being a cynical and rebellious orphan-hearted, single 20-something musician living in Austin, Texas, awash in the proverbial world of sex, drugs, and rock and roll…to becoming a stressfully married religious orphan with three kids and a “real job” in Chicago…it looked like passive aggressive, blame-shifting, self-absorbed, smug, over-indulging, angry, judgmental, hypocritical, argumentative, small-minded, emotionally disconnected, impatient, inconsiderate, controlling, and generally suspicious of everybody.

I probably missed a few of my symptoms (I’m sure my wife remembers a few more!), but I should probably mention that I was a pastor and worship leader for a “Spirit-filled, Bible-believing” Charismatic church…and a lover of Jesus for over 20 years by that time!  I am not exaggerating.

Of course, from my perspective, this felt like being an uncompromising “on-fire” Christian. After all, I wasn’t like those “carnal church-goers” who were just filling pews and weren’t living a “holy life.” They probably weren’t even really saved!

But His love changes everything.

I became addicted to 24-hour news, got all stirred up about politics, the Gulf War, and stayed depressed about how the liberals, atheists, cults, terrorists, gays, or anyone else I felt certain was dragging my country down to hell in a handbasket. All the while, I was secretly resentful of the things I couldn’t do anymore and full of conflict about my life. I knew I couldn’t be friends with anyone who might be “in sin” because that might look like I was “condoning it.” After all, what would other Christians think? (I did mention that I was judgmental and hypocritical!)

But His loves changes everything.

Even though I would never admit it (or even realize it), it was important that I was right about everything, even with my wife and kids. This affirmed my self worth, so anyone who disagreed with me had to be  wrong. In fact, if we could not agree, especially on doctrinal issues, I would have to part company with you. After all, you are deceived. I prided myself in knowing that about people.

In fact, I would NEVER have spent one minute on a “heretic” blog like this! (I probably would’ve liked the worship videos, though.) I would’ve certainly warned my congregation, showing them from my interpretative of Scripture, that this is just more proof we’re in the last days.

But His love changes everything.

Oh, I had many genuine encounters with Jesus since I gave my heart to Him in 1978, cried at the altar many times, repeatedly confessed all my sins, experienced several revivals and relapses, read all the books, studied my Bible incessantly, was trained and discipled by the best, but I still saw God as distant and disappointed with me. And I didn’t really see the Father at all.

The “Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God” vision of God was my God, so I did everything I could to make sure He didn’t decide to direct His anger at me! Reverential fear of God, to me, meant being afraid of this adjudicating, antiseptic Father who, I was told repeatedly, took all His anger out on pure and holy Jesus and abandoned Him on the Cross, left alone to die because He couldn’t tolerate sin…so, naturally, I kept Him at a safe distance in case He actually noticed any of mine. I mean, what if I was “found out?” Anyway, my real father abandoned me. Isn’t that what they do eventually?

But His love changes everything.

The rest of this roller-coaster ride I called the Christian life is in my book, Sonshift: Everything Changes in the Father’s Embrace.

Mel and Maureen in London

But, then, something wonderful happened. My fearful world came crashing down into a rubbly heap, and I caught a glimpse of Love. More importantly, I was embraced by Love!

I suddenly found a ridiculously loving Father who was nothing like what I had ever imagined Him to be. I didn’t have to hide behind my religious fig leaves anymore!

I felt alive like I never felt alive before. I felt His embrace for the first time…and I still feel it, although not all the time. I actually know how to love because I know how to be loved. I’m happily in His hands as He faithfully continues to mold and shape my heart. He’s teaching me how to grow up to be just like my Papa!

He restored my soul, my marriage, and put me on the path again.

You’re taking me by the hand again
Giving me strength to dance again
Cuz your love changes everything

Yes! His love changes everything!

So, if you’ve stumbled upon my little blog and wonder why I write the strange and sometimes provocative things I write, it’s only because I went from being this sad, angry, and scared orphan-hearted little boy, left alone in a crowd, haunted by shame, hoping I was okay with God, to a fully-affirmed son living boldly and ever so radiantly in my Father’s embrace.

This is why I write…His love changes everything! And this is why I’ve included another song from United Pursuit’s recent “Simple Gospel” album, appropriately titled, Your Love Changes Everything.

Be brave, beloved child of God. And be patient. Learn to open your heart and let His love embrace you. His love is like a tsunami. It may seem far away at first, it may even seem to be rolling away from your shoreline for a time, then suddenly you’re overwhelmed and swept away in His unfathomable Ocean of Love! Your whole world will change; you’ll never be the same again. And you’ll never want to be the same again either!

You are SO loved!
Mel

Your Love Changes Everything
By Andrea Marie Reagan |Brandon Hampton| Brock Human | Michael Ketterer | Will Reagan
© Capitol CMG Genesis (Admin. by Capitol CMG Publishing)
United Pursuit Music (Admin. by Capitol CMG Publishing)

Lord, you spoke those words
You spoke so tenderly
Now I choose to believe
You love me, you love me, you love me

You’re taking me by the hand again
Giving me strength to dance again
Cuz your love changes everything
Your love changes everything

When my heart is frail
And when I’m incomplete
I will choose to receive
You love me, you love me, you love me

You never fail
When I look at you
You never fail
And I trust in you
And you never let go
You never let go of me
You never let go 

CCLI # 7047284