Besides being beautiful, my wife, Maureen, is brilliant. She’s a great writer and I’ve been trying to coax her to write a few post here.
Right now, she’s up to her neck in kindergarteners and grade schoolers in an after-school art project, so I thought I would transcribe something she said about relationships and love during our worship service last Sunday that was particularly good. I’ve also included an audio recording here.
This took place while Christi, one of our worship leaders, was leading us in the song, “The More I Seek You” (written by Zack Neese © 1999 Gateway Create Publishing (Admin. by EMI Christian Music Publishing (IMI)).
We’ve also added the Steffany Frizzell line to this song that has become a mantra for us…
“You can love me more in a moment than other lover’s could in in a lifetime.”
This phrase has resonated with us in a deep way. In fact, it seems to me it’s those moments when God deeply touches our heart that really define our life.
And in this context, Maureen gave an exhortation that I believe will encourage you in your relationships–both with others and with God. Remember, this is a transcript so it reads that way. Maureen is an excellent writer and would’ve written it differently, which is why you really need to hear her say it. But, for your convenience, here’s the transcription of what she said.
“Mel and I have done a lot of marriage counseling over the years and one thing I have found in our marriage and counseling others is, you can’t fix the other person. You just have to love the other person. You have to love them through everything. And sometimes you’re going to be the only one loving, and they’re not going to be loving you back. But you still got to love them. And the day is going to come when they’re going to love you back the way you’ve been loving them.
And God does the same things with us. He loves us, and loves us, and loves us, and He never turns the love off…even when we’re not loving Him back. Even when we’re looking for our needs to be met all the time. But I want you to know that, there comes a time in your marriage, and in your relationship with God, that when you stick it out it, it becomes more about loving them than about getting your needs met.
Over the years, I’ve spent a lot of time looking to God to meet my needs, answer my prayers, hear my cries, care about all the things I’m going through. There’s going to come a day, and it’s going to change everything, when you don’t care about that junk anymore. You only care about loving Him, just loving Him every day, and realizing the love He’s been pouring on you all those years. But you were so busy looking at every little minute detail that wasn’t perfect that you’re not seeing it.
But I want to say, “See it! See it!” See that He’s loving you. Spend your time loving Him back. Stop worrying about everything else. That’s where you’re going to find the real excitement in your relationship with God and with your spouse, by the way.” – Maureen Wild (04/06/14)
I told you she was brilliant. 🙂
I’ve also written on this subject in other posts like “Becoming a Powerful ‘you.’”
So, I hope you will listen to the recording, enjoy the song, and take Maureen’s words to heart. She comes in about five minutes in. These are words of life. And I can tell you from experience, they work! Remember that you are dearly loved.
“The More I Seek You” and “Just Love Them”
What’s funny to me, so funny, is that two days ago I was going to post something similar…just a song. You may know it–“The More I See You”, a classic American Standard–that song I like to sing to the Lord. I was going to post it days ago but forgot; so when I read the title here, I could only laugh. Great post, great word, and a good laugh for me. 🙂
Ha! That only means that great minds think alike, Mike. After all, we both have the mind of Christ. 🙂
Your comments much appreciated, as always.
I love this and I wish that more people thought of marriage in this way. Now, there comes a point where we hit a limit (we’re only human, after all) where loving someone who doesn’t love us for so long starts to harm us, our children, our family and all our loved ones. However, I would bet that a lot of divorces could have been avoided if they just tried a little harder. I’m not trying to say there aren’t situations where divorce is the only option… I just wish it was treated as a last resort instead of an easy fix to a hard spot in a relationship.
You’re right, TK. There are exceptions (with abuse, etc.) but when someone comes up to us and says that they want out because their needs aren’t being met anymore, I can tell you they haven’t learned how to love yet. But anyone, no matter who they are, if they’re willing to learn how to love, and let God love them, they can have a wonderful relationship. We’re living proof of that. 🙂
I agree, brilliant. “You only care about loving Him, just loving Him every day, and realizing the love He’s been pouring on you all those years.” –such a great place to live. You really ought to keep coaxing her to post here now and again 🙂
I will keep coaxing her. She’s in her busy time of the year right now. Perhaps when that’s over. She’s more radical about God’s love and grace than me. 🙂