When we see Him we find out who we are

When the Father reveals Himself to you in a personal way, not only do you see Him for who He really is, you begin to see yourself as who you really are in Him.

I’ve had many transforming encounters with the Father’s love over the last several years. One that is still vivid in my memory was during a SOZO session where I said I had been wondering lately why I always prayed to Jesus but almost never to the Father. I had also expressed some frustration with the seeming superficiality of my worship experience.

So we prayed, and I was immediately brought to a time when I was about six years old and had innocently jumped on my father’s lap and woke him up. He was rarely home so I was anxious to show him something. I don’t even remember what it was, and I hadn’t even thought about this incident at all until this session. Of course, he was sleeping so I startled him and he reacted.

Anyway, I realized here, for the first time, that I had taken his normal reactionary response as a rejection and it had become part of how I saw myself and how it affected my ability to show affection. Especially, in my relationship to my heavenly Father.

But right at this time is when I got a vision of my heavenly Father sitting on what looked like the same chair that my dad had been sleeping in, but it was much taller (and brighter!) and I saw Him look down and smile at me.

I saw Him! He was smiling…at me!

Then I saw Him gesture toward me and say, “You can jump in my lap anytime, day or night…I will always be here waiting. And I will never tell you to get off”

I was undone.

Of course, this wasn’t the only wound I had been unknowingly carrying, and God has healed me of so many, but to say, “WOW” at this simple revelation would be a major understatement!

Words are inadequate. I will never be able to fully describe this God encounter to you, only to say that my relationship with who I now call my “Papa God” immediately changed, and has never been the same since.

Now, every time I close my eyes and open my heart to Him, I see Him smiling with arms open wide, waiting for me to me to jump on His lap!

And I do.

This is how I worship now. And I don’t need music to go there, although, the right song can send me there. But all I really need to do is close my eyes…and jump.

But not only did my worship experience change, I saw myself differently too. For this encounter, and many others like it, have helped to shape my view of God, my theology, and how see who I am in Him.

As Job found out after His personal encounter with God, “I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees You.” (Job 42:5). Only now, we’re not orphans in the Old Covenant anymore, like Job. We’re not to abhor ourselves and lay in the dust.

No, our Papa God picks us up and lovingly affirms us as His son/daughter! He’s given us His Spirit of adoption (Rom.8:15; Gal.4:6-7), He drapes the royal robe over us, puts the signet ring on our finger, and sandals on our feet…we’ve come home.

Another thing that changed, my heart now beats with the love of a father. For Papa is teaching me how to love like Him. And my burning desire is to find the spiritual orphans, the Father-less Christians, and to bring a generation lost in confusion into my Father’s House, to be embraced as a son or daughter in His family. So that they can know who they are.

And this brings me to the Jonathan David Helser song, “I’ve Seen I Am,” which beautifully articulates what I’m trying to say here. But before I get to the song, here’s what he said on his blog (you can get the whole blog post here…)

“A broken generation is crying out somebody tell me who I am and what I was born to do. They are wandering through the wilderness looking for Love. My dream is to see this generation encounter the eyes of Love and find out who they truly are.”

THAT’S why I love Jonathan David Helser’s music so much! This Father’s heart comes out in his music and it resonates with what’s burning in my heart.

So, here’s the song. Why not take about ten minutes and listen and let this Father speak to you. And I pray that, like me, you will say, “I’ve seen I AM, now I know who I am. And I am loved by the King!”

“I’ve Seen I Am”
© 2005 Jonathan David Helser

I’ve looked into the eyes of a lion
Felt the courage in his gaze
I heart him roar my name with passion
As I buried my tears in his mane

I’ve looked into the eyes of a Lamb
I saw love face to face
I felt grace destroy my sin
As mercy flowed from His veins

I’ve seen I AM
Now I know that I am loved
I’ve seen I AM,
Now I know who I am

I’ve looked into the eyes of a King
Saw the beauty of holiness
I heard the voice of many waters
As worship poured from my lips

I’ve looked into the eyes of a Savior
Saw love stronger than death
I kissed the scars that bought me freedom
As I laid my head on His chest


About Mel Wild

God's favorite (and so are you), a son and a father, happily married to the same beautiful woman for 41 years. We have three incredible adult children. My passion is pursuing the Father's heart in Christ and giving it away to others. My favorite pastime is being iconoclastic and trailblazing the depths of God's grace. I'm also senior pastor of Cornerstone Church in Wisconsin.
This entry was posted in Father Heart of God, Identity, Sonship, Worship and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

22 Responses to When we see Him we find out who we are

  1. Andy Oldham says:

    This is so beautiful and especially the poem!

  2. Hi Mel. Thank you for your kind words and inspiration regarding my blog… means a lot to me x

  3. marklhen says:

    Good job my friend. You’re a heart man. Love it. Our latent DNA of being Daddy’s sons is awakening. We’re discovering who we are. We’re coming ALIVE!!!

    • melwild says:

      Thanks. Our Papa God has a BIG heart to share, and is awakening our hearts as we see our true identity as His much loved and fully authorized sons and daughters. I believe that’s why we’re getting new understanding on grace, as you have shared on your blog. Like Jesus did, we’re learning how to walk in grace and truth. And this Truth is a Person that brings real freedom. 🙂

  4. Michael says:

    I really believe you because I know that in worship is where I was “re-emotionalized.” It has made me a normal person, unafraid of his emotions, able to be lovingly firm and truly caring.

    • melwild says:

      That’s awesome, Michael. I like your term, “re-emotionalized,” and how you said you became “normal.”That’s a great way to put it. I was pretty dead emotionally too. Then, when I got saved, my Christianity was all in my head, not in the heart. It was awful! Full of fear. I based my maturity on what I didn’t do anymore, and my ministry on being against everything. I didn’t know how to have an intimate relationship with anyone, let alone God.

      While we can’t live by our feelings, we do need to be able to express them, to be able to open our hearts to God and others. And it’s in our personal encounters with God where we are made whole, fully alive, and “normal.” 🙂

      • Michael says:

        So right-on. Intimacy with God makes us look forward; I say that based on something you said about yourself I think is profound: “I based my maturity on what I didn’t do anymore, and my ministry on being against everything.” It’s like keeping a contract and missing out on covenant. But loving God liberates us in every part of ourselves, if we’ll give in to God. Thanks for a great conversation!

        • melwild says:

          You’re welcome and amen! I like what you said, “It’s like keeping a contract and missing out on covenant. But loving God liberates us in every part of ourselves, if we’ll give in to God.” Perfectly stated! Blessings.

  5. The Father’s lap is an incredibly beautiful and intimate place. Thank you Jesus for making this possible!

  6. Anonymous says:

    Here’s another post I wrote that I thought you might be interested in reading. It’s about Theophostic Prayer. Have you heard of it? It’s about going back to early life hurts and fears and shame and, through prayer, inviting Papa God/Jesus/Holy Spirit into the situation. It’s very powerful.

  7. Pingback: My “dearest” nomination | In My Father's House

  8. N. says:

    Omg, I just had this random revelation while in the shower and I have to tell someone lol forgive me if its random!!

    Ok, so while I was in the shower, I asked myself, “Hm. What would I do if I had a gay child?” Now, I have nothing against gay people at all, theyre not gross, disgusting, vile, the scum of the earth…theyre human like everyone else(well duh lol ) However, it just seems that when you tell someone that homosexuality is a sin in the bible, they seem to get offended…and I would be worried that my child would think that God hates him/ or her.. a lot of gays hate God cus they think God hates them…but then I realized how a lot of gay people seem to make that the biggest part of the identity, from what I see. They have their gay parades, gay bars, they want the world to know that they’re gay…and its kinda like, ok, its not that big of a deal..but then I realized–thats NOT who they are as a whole!! You are not just this gay person, there is more to you than that, and Jesus thinks so! When Jesus came to die for us, he didn’t just see someone as that filthy homosexual over there, or that adulteress over there…he saw you for you. He saw ALL of you, not just that small part of you…You weren’t just that murder, you were John, his beloved. The thief on the cross wasnt just a thief, he was the apple of Gods eye! You were not just the harlot, you are Jane, his love! I think that a lot of gay people get offended because they wrap their whole identities around that one small part of themselves(but I could be tottally wrong, I dunno!), when they need to realize that God doesnt see you as disgusting, and he doesn’t hate you. In the bible, it may say that god hates homosexuals, but you are more than that, especially when you put all of your faith and trust in his Son, God knows so! Its like me saying, hey my name is Suzy and I like tacos! Um ok…thats cool but thats not ALL of me, you see what Im saying? So I came to the conclusion that I would love my child unconditionally no matter what, and as long as they put their faith in Jesus, I will let the holy spirit manage them….I’ll let the spirit do his job! It just worries me cus in this world you have people saying that being Gay is ok, and on the other end theres people saying that god hates gay people(have you heard of the westboro baptist church? Absolutely horrible…) Lets just focus on more love and not so much on the condemning part…

    I want to again say that I dont hate gay people, wasnt trying to pick on them, but it was just an interesting thought….what do ya think?

    • Mel Wild says:

      Those people who call themselves Christians and say that God hates people don’t know Him at all. They are religious orphans controlled by a religious spirit, not the Holy Spirit. I’m not saying they aren’t saved, they’re just greatly deceived. And there’s nothing more judgmental and cruel than a religious spirit. They are acting the very opposite of Jesus.

      Our heavenly Father doesn’t hate any person, no matter what their sin or lifestyle. He is love, and His love is unconditional, which means it has no conditions. But He hates what sin does to the people that He dearly loves. And, as a Father, He grieves that the object of His affection will not receive His ultimate demonstration of that love in Jesus’ death on the cross for them. A demonstration of love that paid a horrible price for every one of our sins forever. Because the truth is, He already forgave everyone everything because of Jesus. But so few accept His free gift of forgiveness, so they are lost. They are still hiding behind fig leaves like Adam, running like orphans. The truth is, we were all alienated from Him, and our souls were wounded and poisoned by so many things. We have all sinned, without exception. So, no one is better than anyone else. Salvation is equally needed by all, and we are all equally loved. So, as a Father, I believe it makes Him sad that we won’t come home like the Prodigal, to see Him waiting for us with open arms, where we receive His complete forgiveness, to be affirmed as a son or daughter, to feel His embrace and experience that transforming love. Where there is real freedom and purpose and joy.

      Because when all of us stop running away from Him like orphans, we find Him and then find out who we really are.

      • N. says:

        Yes!! Gosh, I felt so much love just by reading that I feel all happy n stuff 😀
        If the whole world knew and felt Gods TRUE love, and knew who were truly are and where we TRULY came from, the world would be a million times better, for sure! Love your blog and keep up the good work 🙂

        • Mel Wild says:

          Amen, and thanks. Much appreciated. Paul tells us that our job is to renew our minds, to think like our Father thinks, and see what He sees. In this way, we can prove that His will is “good, acceptable and perfect” (Rom.12:2). As Bill Johnson once said, “Everyone wants a king like Jesus. If we represent Him well, they’ll want His body too.”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.