When the Father reveals Himself to you in a personal way, not only do you see Him for who He really is, you begin to see yourself as who you really are in Him.
I’ve had many transforming encounters with the Father’s love over the last several years. One that is still vivid in my memory was during a SOZO session where I said I had been wondering lately why I always prayed to Jesus but almost never to the Father. I had also expressed some frustration with the seeming superficiality of my worship experience.
So we prayed, and I was immediately brought to a time when I was about six years old and had innocently jumped on my father’s lap and woke him up. He was rarely home so I was anxious to show him something. I don’t even remember what it was, and I hadn’t even thought about this incident at all until this session. Of course, he was sleeping so I startled him and he reacted.
Anyway, I realized here, for the first time, that I had taken his normal reactionary response as a rejection and it had become part of how I saw myself and how it affected my ability to show affection. Especially, in my relationship to my heavenly Father.
But right at this time is when I got a vision of my heavenly Father sitting on what looked like the same chair that my dad had been sleeping in, but it was much taller (and brighter!) and I saw Him look down and smile at me.
I saw Him! He was smiling…at me!
Then I saw Him gesture toward me and say, “You can jump in my lap anytime, day or night…I will always be here waiting. And I will never tell you to get off”
I was undone.
Of course, this wasn’t the only wound I had been unknowingly carrying, and God has healed me of so many, but to say, “WOW” at this simple revelation would be a major understatement!
Words are inadequate. I will never be able to fully describe this God encounter to you, only to say that my relationship with who I now call my “Papa God” immediately changed, and has never been the same since.
Now, every time I close my eyes and open my heart to Him, I see Him smiling with arms open wide, waiting for me to me to jump on His lap!
And I do.
This is how I worship now. And I don’t need music to go there, although, the right song can send me there. But all I really need to do is close my eyes…and jump.
But not only did my worship experience change, I saw myself differently too. For this encounter, and many others like it, have helped to shape my view of God, my theology, and how see who I am in Him.
As Job found out after His personal encounter with God, “I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees You.” (Job 42:5). Only now, we’re not orphans in the Old Covenant anymore, like Job. We’re not to abhor ourselves and lay in the dust.
No, our Papa God picks us up and lovingly affirms us as His son/daughter! He’s given us His Spirit of adoption (Rom.8:15; Gal.4:6-7), He drapes the royal robe over us, puts the signet ring on our finger, and sandals on our feet…we’ve come home.
Another thing that changed, my heart now beats with the love of a father. For Papa is teaching me how to love like Him. And my burning desire is to find the spiritual orphans, the Father-less Christians, and to bring a generation lost in confusion into my Father’s House, to be embraced as a son or daughter in His family. So that they can know who they are.
And this brings me to the Jonathan David Helser song, “I’ve Seen I Am,” which beautifully articulates what I’m trying to say here. But before I get to the song, here’s what he said on his blog (you can get the whole blog post here…)
“A broken generation is crying out somebody tell me who I am and what I was born to do. They are wandering through the wilderness looking for Love. My dream is to see this generation encounter the eyes of Love and find out who they truly are.”
THAT’S why I love Jonathan David Helser’s music so much! This Father’s heart comes out in his music and it resonates with what’s burning in my heart.
So, here’s the song. Why not take about ten minutes and listen and let this Father speak to you. And I pray that, like me, you will say, “I’ve seen I AM, now I know who I am. And I am loved by the King!”
“I’ve Seen I Am”
© 2005 Jonathan David Helser
I’ve looked into the eyes of a lion
Felt the courage in his gaze
I heart him roar my name with passion
As I buried my tears in his mane
I’ve looked into the eyes of a Lamb
I saw love face to face
I felt grace destroy my sin
As mercy flowed from His veins
I’ve seen I AM
Now I know that I am loved
I’ve seen I AM,
Now I know who I am
I’ve looked into the eyes of a King
Saw the beauty of holiness
I heard the voice of many waters
As worship poured from my lips
I’ve looked into the eyes of a Savior
Saw love stronger than death
I kissed the scars that bought me freedom
As I laid my head on His chest